Living Life as a Godly Wife

Today I am delighted to have a guest contributor on our A Godly Marriage blog! In the future, you will see more and more guest writer's as we all bring such a unique story to the table. Many of us are going through different things at different times, and it helps when someone has experienced something that someone else is going through. I hope you enjoy all of the posts from our guest contributors! If you are interested in contributing, please contact agodlymarriageblog@gmail.com


By Guest Contributor, Sarah Couch

My husband and I recently decided to work on our marriage. We're coming up on four years this May, and we've been through so much already. We suffered three miscarriages before being blessed with our two beautiful sons. Raising two boys at ages one and two is definitely a challenge. My husband works fifty hours a week on average, and I stay at home with our children.

As many other stay-at-home moms have said, I felt like I was getting no help from my husband. He would come home from work and sit in his chair watching TV while I tended to our children's every need. Here I was being "Mom of the Year", but what I failed to realize is that I was neglecting my role as a wife. My husband came home every day to a house that was in far less than perfect condition. There were dishes in the sink, toys on the floor, and minimal chores done. I was usually still in my pajama pants with my hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, and makeup was a thing of the past. Never mind sexual intimacy. I was so angry with my husband all the time that sex was the last thing on my mind! How dare he leave me all day with the kids and expect that I work 24 hours a day seven days a week while he works ten hour days five days a week?! It wasn't until I started seeking God and looking for His will in my life that things began to improve.  God has laid out specific roles for husbands and wives.

The role of a wife is to respect, nurture, and support, just as the Proverbs 31 woman. What does this mean? I was hardly respecting my husband, and certainly not respecting our belongings. Aside from that, I was not bringing respect to my husband with the words I spoke about him to friends and family. I was meeting the nurturing role fairly well, but I wasn't taking care of myself. This world is full of temptation and women out there looking their best. I came to the realization that I was only looking my best for people other than my husband. I had gotten too comfortable, and I had started taking my husband for granted. I had this mindset that if I wasn't leaving the house, he wouldn't care what I look like. While I know my husband thinks I am beautiful no matter what, I am supposed to be the one he wants to come home to every night. Looking my best keeps his eyes from wandering.

As a wife, I am supposed to be my husband's biggest encouragement, not his biggest critic. I spent so much time nitpicking that I didn't have time to listen to his stories of success at work.While I was busy putting in little effort, he was busy getting a promotion and a raise...and where was I? I was so wrapped up in what I wanted and how tired I was that I failed to support my husband. As wives, we need to begin putting our husband's needs above our own. When we speak, we need to speak words of life and encouragement to our husbands. We need to be careful of the words that we say about him to others. It's so easy to speak only negative things to friends and family while forgetting to give our husbands the respect they deserve.

"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."
[Proverbs 31:12 NIV]

In the beginning, my prayer was that God would help me to change my husband. I wanted God to light a fire under him and make him start helping me around the house. I kept asking God how I could change my husband. One day, loud and clear, I got the message: "You can't." God showed me that the only way to change my husband was to change myself. I had to stop pointing the finger at him and begin looking into myself. It wasn't my husband who needed to change; it was me. It's never our job to point out all of our husband's shortcomings. Our only task is to be the wife our husband deserves. When we do this, everything else will fall into place.


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