"You, my princess, are worth loving"

I stumbled across the above letter/photo on Pinterest last week. If you're a woman and you're like me, Pinterest is your newest addiction....it even comes before facebook! If you haven't yet liked us on pinterest, be sure to do so! We are constantly posting things on our A Godly Marriage in an Ungodly World pinterest board. Feel free to like my own personal boards as well if you'd like.

Anyway, back on track!
When I came across this letter, my heart just swelled up with happiness and memories. In today's blog, I'll tell you about my own trials, struggles and hardships on my path to finding my husband!

Growing up, I always knew I wanted to get married, however, I was never quite certain if that happened to be God's will for my life. In fact, I spent countless nights as a teenager in frustration over it because I just thought for certain that I would never get married (as much as I wanted to). At the age of 13, I started praying every single day for my future husband. I don't really remember what made me start praying for him, but I just did. I'd pray that God would direct his steps, that he would encourage him and eventually, when the time came, reveal me to him (and him to I) so that we would instantly know we were meant for each other. I didn't want to deal with the whole dating thing or having to 'search' for my future husband. I found it a waste of time, quite honestly, and I eventually told God that if that were going to be the case, I just wanted to be single my entire life.

At the age of 17, I became "ok" with that thought....the thought of never finding a husband and just focusing on my relationship with Christ. I had so many plans for myself at this point, knowing that I didn't have to search for a husband and that I wasn't, essentially, tied down to anything. I had planned a missions trip to Thailand and had considered applying for and taking a Christian teaching position in either Russia or Thailand (two different worlds, I know). Either way, I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life in little redneck Remington, Virginia. I knew God had more for me, but what?

I eventually started becoming a little discouraged, not having the boldness I needed to step out and take the missions trip. And little by little, the devil slipped into my mind and unfortunately my entire life. It's amazing, how you give him just a small little ounce of your mind, and Satan destroys it in absolutely no time. I was young, I was naive, and I fell into sins (whether I thought they were harmless or not, I know better now) that I regretted deeply. I allowed a few different men into my life, and got closer than I wished to. These relationships and sins threw me into one particularly awful situation, which scarred me for awhile. I was tumbling into a huge pit, and I couldn't stop myself. I was alone, and no one could help me.

In the beginning of September of 2005, I came to a breaking point. No one in this entire world knew what I was going through. I was always very good at keeping my emotions to myself. Here I was, just a few months prior, this young christian woman who was amazingly set on fire for God. And in just 3 short months, I was the biggest heathen in the entire community...or so I felt. I remember that one night when I knew that if I didn't pick myself up, stop having a self pitty party and forgive myself and the people that had hurt me, then I would never move on with my life. And in that instant I fell face down on my bedroom floor, surrendered myself to God and wept uncontrollably. I prayed and prayed. More than ever, I knew that God had someone for me and that I wasn't meant to walk this path alone in my life. I knew that there was 'another half' missing from my life, and the next thing that happened completely blew my mind.

After praying and weeping for hours, I felt a peace....a strength....arms holding me and asking me to listen. And all of a sudden, with in my spirit, I heard God say, 

"Before I can send you your husband, you must first learn to love ME with your whole heart. Never doubting my plans for you, never making your own plans. And when you've accomplished this, I will reveal him to you."
At this point, I lifted my head up as if there were someone right in the room with me....looking around to see. When in fact, I knew there was no one there. But I could feel Him, I could feel the Holy Spirit so heavy, surrounding me, that I just had to look and see.

That evening I picked myself up off the floor and felt like a completely changed women. Yes, there was a healing and forgiveness process, but it was quick. What Satan had made for evil, Christ revealed to me and used it to build my Christian character and strength in His word. At this point I had taken on leading worship for a youth group just down the road from my home. It was a passion of mine, and it also helped me through this time, knowing that I could be a good influence on other young people.

The following month I was really really starting to become more on fire for God. I just felt Him everywhere I went. I was so in tune to the Spirit moving and the things that were happening around me. But the one thing that I was still unsure of was the plan He had for me. One evening in prayer, I finally gave up. I threw my hands up and said "I will no longer think or wonder what plans you have for me because I know they are all GOOD!! And will come in your timing." I went to bed that evening with a peace that even one month earlier, I hadn't felt so strongly.

Two short weeks later, I happened to be on the internet talking to some friends on instant messenger. We chatted just about every evening, they were my "besties", after all. I saw a friend of mine get online and decided to chat with her. She and I weren't really close, we had only met a few times through the Christian school we both attended, but I enjoyed talking to her in the evenings when she was online. After chatting with her for a few mins, I noticed that she wasn't typing/talking like normal, and eventually said to me "this isn't Brittney, by the way, this is her brother".


I felt all of the blood in my body rush to my head as I pushed myself away from the computer. 'This can't be,' I said to myself. I had completely avoided men for the past 2.5 months. I couldn't allow myself to get sucked in again. However, against my wishes, I was completely sucked in by this man. I had seen him very briefly once before in my life, but never spoke to him. I remember being captivated by him when I saw him though, just 6 months prior. My girl friends still joke with me, even to this day, about how I just stared at him the entire time he walked past me the very first time I saw him.

That was it, I had made a new friend and I knew he was different. We exchanged phone numbers and confirmed that we needed to 'meet up' one day. And the following Thursday evening at my youth group  meeting, we did just that.

When he pulled into the parking lot at church I tried not to turn around to look at him. The funny thing is, I wasn't a bit nervous, but I was a little scared, not knowing how the night would go. When he got out of his vehicle and started walking my way, I turned and looked at him and smiled. My heart jumped for joy. My spirit started laughing because I just knew what was happening.....I had just met the man I would spend the rest of my life with.

That weekend we went on our first date. We've been together ever since. Two weeks after we started dating, he told me that he instantly knew that we were supposed to be together. Three months after we started dating, we were engaged. And two months later, we were married. We just celebrated our 6-year wedding anniversary this past March (2012).

I'm not saying everyone will have a love story like that. We went through many trials in our relationship and the first year of our marriage. We had many struggles to deal with, not with our marriage, but the fact that our relationship moved so quickly. Many people looked down on us for getting married only 5 months after we'd officially met. We lost relationships with some friends and family members in the beginning, but it truly was from God. The fact that we knew so many people were against us getting married so quickly made us realize that the only people who needed to be involved in our marriage were the two of us. We didn't run to our families or friends when we had marital issues. We didn't borrow or take things from people to try and get us through the rough financial times. We've done this thing completely by ourselves. Friendships and relationships with family members have slowly been mended over the years. We've all said and done things we regret. But thankfully there is forgiveness for that.

My point is, don't settle. Don't settle for anything less than what GOD has planned for your life. Trust in HIM, learn to love HIM with your whole heart before you try to give your love away to any other man (or woman, guys!). 
"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
[Psalms 37:4]
The above scripture constantly got me through the hard times (and still does). I knew that because I am a child of God and that because I delighted myself in Him and eventually gave my entire life and plans over to Him, that HE would give me a Godly man to call my husband, because it is what I desired the most.

If being married is a great desire of yours and it hasn't yet come, don't lose hope! I often heard people say "it's when you stop searching that you find your one and only". I wouldn't say that that statement is true, but if you put your complete trust in Christ and learn to love Him with your entire heart...stop focusing on finding a spouse and start focusing on your relationship with Christ...I know He will bring you the desire you long for. I know He will reveal to you whether marriage is right for you or not. And I know that if He does reveal to you that marriage isn't the right step right now, that He WILL give you peace about it, if you let Him. God saw everything, and He said it was "very good". That includes your life and the plans He has for you. Don't let your mind and emotions get in the way.

I urge you to continue to pray earnestly if you truly have a heart to be a husband or wife. Continue to share your request and desire with God, and He will direct your path into His good and perfect will....and that path will lead you to the Prince or Princess that God has prepared for you. And oh boy, when that day comes, the saints in heaven will rejoice....because two are so much better than one....and hunny, you're both going to bring so much glory to the Kingdom of God if you continue to serve Him and make Him the center of your lives and marriage.

That's my story, and I'm stickin' to it ;)

1 comment

  1. You never know the things that you will come across. Simply was just looking for words of encouragement on Pinterest. This is exactly what I have been needing lately. Thank you for sharing!