every situation

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 
[1 Corinthians 13:13]

This past week was a challenging week in our household.  It started off with finding out that our little one had strep throat, and then later ended up with Mark getting sick as well.  It seems like we go through this every year around this time, so I should be used to be by now, but it's hard being a mommy and trying to take care of everyone while working.
Every year around this time I get overwhelmed and end up taking my frustrations out on the wrong people -- the ones I love the most!  And every year I say "I'm not going to do this next time around, I'm going to change my attitude and love no matter what the situation."  Well, I failed again this year.  But the important thing is that I tried, even if just for a moment.

We all know that when we're not feeling well, we can get pretty grumpy.  *waves hand* I know I do!  The proper thing for us to do when we see our spouse being grumpy while they're not feeling well, is to try and make them as comfortable as possible...even if that means just leaving them alone and not bothering them.  They are going to say things that don't make sense, and their length of patience won't be as long as yours!  No, they shouldn't snap at us, but they have a fairly good reason to and we shouldn't make matters worse by snapping back at them.  When you're feeling miserable, sometimes you just don't want to repeat yourself when you ask for something, you don't want to move because you're tired and have a headache, and you certainly don't want your spouse nudging you at night because your loud mouth is snoring! 

Love, in every situation.  In sickness and in health, for richer or made that commitment to love no matter what situation comes your way.  I think we all too often forget that.  

Here's the issue:
I expected my husband to continue to do his daily 'chores' or act normal even though he was sick.  I thought to myself, "Well I certainly don't get sick days. I still have to work, clean house, be a mom aka jungle gym, and I don't get any sleep as it is -- so he can suck it up be a man!"  I hate that mindset, yet I constantly find myself thinking that way when I don't want to.  I can't tell you how many times I got convicted of thinking like that this past week while my son and husband were both sick.  Maybe it's true, maybe I do have to be the mom, wife, work horse etc when I'm sick, but it doesn't mean I have to treat my husband the way I 'think' I am treated when I am sick.  Hey, at least the man fixes me oodles n noodles when I'm sick (because that's the only thing he knows how to cook except for Pillsbury pull apart cookie dough).  And in all fairness, if I asked him to, he would drop everything for me and let me get some rest while sick.  See there's the issue, communication.  We as women think our men are automatically supposed to know what to do.  And, they should ;) but that's just not how a man's brain works. 

Whatever happened to the golden rule?  Or better yet, this Bible verse:

"So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." [Matthew 7:12]
I think we often get caught up in the big issues in life that we forget about the simple ones, that in all actuality would make the big issues seem less big.  It's as simple as that, 'do unto others what you would have them do to you'.  And I failed at that again this past week, but I'm getting better.  LOVE, in every situation.  Whether your spouse is sick, angry, hurting, or just being a pain in the rear end.  We were made to love, so why don't we do it?  Love is a choice, not a feeling.  And until we realize that, we'll never get it.  Every single day you choose who you'll love, who you'll show love to and how you react to people.  Just because someone snaps at me for no reason doesn't mean I have to react the same way.  I should still treat them the way I would want to be treated, with love.  Because one day I'm going to snap at them, and I hope that they would calmly talk to me instead of getting me even more worked up and make matters worse.  
To every action there is a reaction -- and that's not only true in science.  If you show love and react with it, you will get it in return.  Maybe not at that moment, but later down the road.  This isn't just in marriages, this is in all relationships.  But I have a really hard time with that one ;)  So I'll work on my marriage relationship first and just hope it spills over!

Moral of this blog:
God desires us to love our spouse no matter what. I  know it's hard sometimes, not necessarily to 'love' them, but to show love to them.  It is one of the hardest things to do when you yourself are hurting or trying to make sense of the 'equal' marriage you think you're supposed to have.  Someone told me once "Marriage isn't a 50/50 thing, it's a 100/100 thing" -- and she's right.  Think about it. 

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